Do you ever just have one those days when you internally and irrationally scream “just f**k off!” at everyone and everything that comes into your day?
I’m right there, and seem to be most days at the moment.
Warning: Incoming woman on the edge rant
To give you some context, I’m really bloody tired.
I’m not claiming to be any more tired than you are, I’m just saying, I am done in.
We are renovating our house, so virtually every day since November, I’ve had a house full of builders, noise and mess from 7.30am to 4pm.
My child has been child waking and arriving in our bed EVERY NIGHT since January. Anyone with a toddler will understand just how disruptive a foot to the throat can be throughout the night.
Getting her to bed is also a task in itself at the moment. She gave up her dummy, so doesn’t go to sleep for anything up to 3 hours after bed time each night. During this time I try to clean the mess then builders have made in parts of the house they are not even working on, and stop the dog from eating sawdust (and puking it up), whilst making dinner.
Once madam is finally asleep, I start the work that I couldn’t do during the day. I can be doing that anything up to midnight most nights.
Then I get my “sleep”. All five nanoseconds of it (or what it feels like). In fact, my b*****d Fitbit (who I now hate) has been telling me I’ve been averaging 4.5 hours sleep a night for the last month.
Everyone is bloody knackered.
With that in mind, you don’t need many guesses to work out that the terrible twos in full swing and not enough sleep (both her and me) means that the next day can be juuuuuuust a little fraught.
I can’t take any more!
Obviously, at the moment, things that I could normally cope with, have me teetering on the edge.
It’s not personal though; I don’t discriminate. Everyone is winding me up!
It could be my husband (who I love dearly), when has asked what time he had to fetch our daughter from playgroup as I was leaving the house for a meeting. A-GAIN.
“You know what f**king time! She’s your daughter! It’s the same time every week!”
It could in fact be my daughter (who really is the centre of my universe and who I would never ever tell to f*ck off).
“Darling, that t-shirt is fine! You don’t need one that is more pink!”
It could be my very friendly and actually sympathetic builders.
“I cleaned this f**king floor last night!”
My dog or cats could get it.
“Which one of you was sick on my clean (white) bedding?”
Or it could even be Joe Wicks, The Body Coach, because I’m doing his program at the moment:
“Why do I need f**king flax seeds anyway?!”
Most likely, it’s my impending period and hormones still settling after 2 fairly close miscarriages.
Whatever the reason is, if you’re reading this and thinking that you’ve also had ‘one of those days’, just know that they are normal. We are all human, and I’m almost certain that that’s how gin and chocolate were invented.
I’m off to destress by pinning more glittery shit to my Pinterest boards.
Tomorrow WILL be better!