Sadness and gratitude – Seeing joy through all of the shit

toddler and puppy

Whenever anyone asks me the question, “do you want the bad news or the good news?”, I always say bad first. It can only get better then.

So following that logic, if you’re a regular reader of my blog, you don’t have to be a genius to work out that October has been a pretty crap month for us.

But it is also my favourite month too; it’s Lady P’s birthday in October.

Rather than thinking just of the shitty bits, I thought it was worth recapping the ups too.

Sadness:

I found out I’d had a miscarriage. I will probably never be able to remember 1st October without a twang of sadness.

Some people didn’t respect that I only wanted to talk about it when I was ready, and kept pestering me.

My daughter asked me if I was sad, which kind of broke my heart.

I had to wait 2 weeks until I could be treated for the medical management of my miscarriage, spending a lot more time at the hospital than I’d ever wish for.

Feelings I hadn’t expected to experience for a while hit me like a bus when some friends told me that they were pregnant.

I felt pretty horrendous physically and guilty for not being able to do as much with Lady P as I’d normally like to.

I missed the start of the new series of Desperate Housewives of Cheshire (shhhhh).

I haven’t been able to do as much exercise as I’d have liked.

 

Enough of the downs anyway…

Gratitude:

My family and friends were there for me. Like you’d never believe. It really hits home how important it is to have people around you that get you when you need it.

I put work on hold for a few days and did some things that made me happy.

toddler playing in leaves

Lady P gave me so many cuddles and kisses and asked if I was feeling better (they just seem to know, right?).

The time in between appointments gave me time to think about it and for me to work out what I wanted to do, and luckily it all started to work quite quickly once I’d had the medication.

As much as it made me sad, it also made me really happy to found out that some of my friends are having healthy pregnancies.

I busied myself and soon felt a lot better – keeping the mind busy always helps me focus.

I was featured on Wendy’s Naptime Natter blog.

I am getting closer to my Twitter follower target of 1000 by the end of the year. Please follow me if you are feeling generous!

My husband has been amazing and, as usual, shown that he will do anything to make me happy. I definitely don’t give him enough credit at times.

I got a puppy!

puppy toddler and puppy

We are set to start our house renovation, so we will soon have half of the house as we’d want it. *excited*

THE MOST ENORMOUS UP, Lady P turned 2. I can hardly believe it has been 2 years since she was born, but they have been the best of my life. We had a fabulous Frozen-themed party and day out at the theatre to celebrate.

toddler

So if you look at it like that, the sad times have been big fat punch-you-in-the-stomach ones, but there have actually been more times to smile this month.

If you’re feeling fed up and as if everything is getting on top of you, try writing down a gratitude list; focus on what you have rather than what you’ve lost.

It might just help to make you feel better.

One Messy Mama

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27 Comments on "Sadness and gratitude – Seeing joy through all of the shit"

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Fran Back With a Bump
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So sorry to hear about your miscarriage but love you’re focusing on the good things in life! Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays

Chelsea Chad
Guest

Without sounding a bit condescending – it’s so great that you can have so much gratitude in times of sadness. You’re so right about how the littles ones seem to notice when you’re feeling down. I had a rough year last year, and my little boy was always snuggling in for cuddles even though usually he makes a big show of being a big boy and not needing hundreds of kisses or cuddles! x

#MarvMondays

Helen Gandy
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Oh bless you, so sorry to read about your miscarriage. I loved the little video at the bottom of your post, something to focus on at this time lovely. Popping over from #marvmondays

Angela Watling
Guest

Such a difficult month for you last month. It’s amazing and wonderful that you’ve focused on so many positive things whilst dealing with the trauma of a miscarriage. You’re right that when things get bad, you’ve got to draw from the good things in life. It doesn’t take away from the sad things, but it does remind you that not everything is sad. I hope you have a better November and are coping as well as you can with your loss. You’re gorgeous little smiley daughter must be a real source of joy! #MarvMondays

Jackie
Guest

That video of her with the leaves is just so beautiful and joyful. Lovely to see. I wish you all healing from the hurt of your loss and continued happiness on your journey as a family. #bestandworst

Sarah Howe
Guest

I’m so sorry hun. I’m glad you were so supported by your gorgeous family and that little puppy! How adorable. I can’t imagine how you must have felt but pleased you have had some good times in October. The pics are lovely. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

Fran Back With a Bump
Guest

Back again for #globalblogging. That little video is so cute xxx

five little doves
Guest

I’m so sorry to hear of you miscarriage, I sympathise completely. We lost fifteen babies to miscarriage and our son to stillbirth at full term, it’s heartbreaking but I’m so glad that you are able to find some happiness in your daughter and your gorgeous puppy!!! #BloggerClubUK

Sonia
Guest

Bless you. I went through the same when my eldest was two and then went on to have two more healthy babies with no issues after that so I hope it will be the same for you. You are right, you have to focus on the positive and I found that having a two year old really leaves you little time to over-think it too much. You seem to have a sunny outlook on life and your daughter is gorgeous!! Lots of hugs xx #ablogginggoodtime

Ursula (AKA Mumbelievable)
Guest

I find it so inspiring that you’re able to see the great things through such a hard time. Your strength is amazing. So sorry for your loss and sending hugs your way Xxx #brilliantblogposts

Mummy Times Two
Guest

Sending love and hopes for a better November. Have followed you on Twitter – fingers crossed you will make your target x #TheLinkyList

Meagan
Guest
I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, that is so so so hard. Although I haven’t experienced this personally, my sister went through this and I know how tough it can be. I don’t blame you for being upset when you heard of your friend’s pregnancy. I’m the same as you, I don’t like people pestering me about how I am feeling, I will come when I am ready! So onto the good news….it’s so so so sweet that your little girl was cuddling you and asking you if you’re alright, my heart melted a little. Great news on… Read more »
A Cornish Mum
Guest

It says a lot about your strength lovely that you can still see so many positives about the month. Cuteness overload with little miss and the puppy too 🙂

Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

Stevie x

Eilidh
Guest

What a mixed month for you I hope November is happier. My little girl turned 2 last month too, they are at such a cute age aren’t they. Also how cute is your puppy!!
Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
Eilidh x

Topfivemum
Guest
I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I clearly had only read your previous post about the nasty midwife earlier today, so sorry if my earlier message was ill timed. Losing a baby to miscarriage is awful and I really feel for you. I was trying for ages to have our first baby and I lost him/her 2 days before I was due my first scan. I was devastated. I started focusing on the future with a baby in it, and I mourned the loss of the baby as well as the loss of a dream and a future… Read more »
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