Slummy Mummies: Which side of the fence are you?

wine glass

This isn’t the normal kind of post that I would choose to write, and I’m pretty sure my Yoast plugin will tell me that the ‘readability’ (not even a word) needs improvement.

But not everything in life is about being perfect.

Except apparently when it comes to being a Mum blogger.

When it comes to #pbloggers, it seems that there are two camps; the ones who treasure each moment and write endless posts about days out, home-cooked meals and magical moments. Then there are the others who type honestly about their epic parenting fails, and the not so glamorous sides of parenting.

Where do you sit on the Mum blogger fence?

I’d say that I am somewhere in between.

I would like to think that I am a pretty good Mum. My child is awesome and ahead of the curve, I actually enjoy doing ‘the job’, I work part-time, we’re all still alive, and 90% of the time the house is still standing.

So in my books, I’m winning at life.

In the 2 and a half years since Lady P arrived, I’ve devoted more than the majority of my life, brain cells, career, and free time to her. Perhaps more than some, perhaps less than others.

I firmly #TreasureEachMoment.

That doesn’t mean that I’ve surrendered my personality and interests though. Or that I can’t laugh at things when they go wrong.

Hold the phone, I even tell people about them too. Maybe even write about them occasionally.

Yes, I no longer go on all-nighters and end up losing my bank card after ‘just one drink’, but I am still me underneath the comfy pyjamas.

I still forget to restock the nursery spare clothes at times the same way that I don’t always remember to pack my own pants in my gym bag. We often ‘choose’ to eat lunch out because I forgot to buy fresh bread. And I regularly overlook a little past bed time to let Lady P watch the end of BGT that she has suddenly become obsessed with (because I like too).

To me, these are my ‘unmummsy’ moments. They may not involve wine or gin, but that’s more because I’ve always used up my empty calorie allowance on leftover Easter egg.

So what? Who cares?

Well, I’ll tell you who cares; The Daily Fail. That’s who.

Yesterday, I read that the newspaper had been slagging off the Mummy bloggers who label themselves as ‘slummy’.

I can’t say that I am surprised, actually.

In a way, I agree with parts of the article.

WAIT TO READ THE REST OF THIS POST BEFORE YOU TROLL ME.

In the past, I’d read a lot of these blogs and I decided that they weren’t for me.

I’ve now had two miscarriages and with friends who have also experienced the pain of losing a baby or hopes of ever having one, being a parent should never be taken for granted.

Having children is the greatest privilege we could ever be given.

So whilst I could relate to some of the common moments, I took offence at the constant ‘jokes’ about how annoying they thought their kids were.

Some of them came across all wrong.

In fact I found myself sat next to a couple of the big blogger names at Blogfest. I thought they were just dicks. They weren’t even talking about their kids, they just seemed like people I wouldn’t want to hang out with.

So I unfollowed them. I’m sure they are devastated.

** Neither of them are mentioned in this post by the way. **

Then someone changed my mind

I recently went to an event organised by The Parent Pause.

Two bloggers that I’d already made my mind up about were speaking. I left thinking that I wanted to be friends with them.

They changed my mind, and seeing their honesty mixed in with their blatant love for their kids, I got it. Apart from the fact that they were bloody funny, I got why they were so popular.

Like I said at the start of this article, not everyone and everything is perfect.

These individuals made me realise that is the whole point of this breed of blogger.

Sometimes you do let your child eat Weetabix for tea if that’s all they want. At times, the easiest way to deal with the damp washing in the machine is to just put if back on another cycle. And maybe some days you just can’t be bothered with the fight, so you let them go to nursery dressed as Elsa. In wellies.

It’s called picking your battles

Maybe you even write about it.

It doesn’t make you slummy (I hate that phrase anyway). It just makes you honest.

Too many Mums feel the pressure to be perfect and end up bottling up PND because they don’t feel as though they are doing it ‘right’.

All that the likes of Hurrah for Gin and the Unmummsy Mum are doing is opening up that dialogue. By sharing the less than perfect moments of parenting, they are helping parents to realise that they do have to just laugh at the ‘poonamis’ or freezer dinners, and to not be so hard on themselves.

What that terrible newspaper has failed to realise is that these bloggers are actually super smart and know what they are doing.

They put out as much material about how much they love their kids as they do about feeding them ‘freezer tapas’.

They know how lucky they are to have been given the job as Mummy.

They have a good balance.

And thanks to the fact that people welcome their honesty and sense of humour, they have healthy earnings from it too.

So, if you’ve read the article that I am referring to, remember never to judge a book by its cover.

NOTE: I still think that pair of bloggers are dicks though.

 

 

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8 Comments on "Slummy Mummies: Which side of the fence are you?"

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Rach
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Interesting post. I think the author of the article is a massive hypocrite, considering some of the stuff she’s churned out in the past. However, there are blogs out there, that I’ve read and they’ve left me feeling uncomfortable. The majority of the blogs I read of this nature are written with ones tongue firmly placed in their left cheek. But some of it, some of it is just a bit much and I think it’s gone too far. Do I think the author was Mum Shaming? Yeah I do and the article was nasty, but it’s what I’ve come… Read more »
Siobhan
Guest

Very thought provoking – I really disliked how this article skimmed the blogs so superficially and completely ignored the many lovely experiences covered by these bloggers. I think it goes without saying that these bloggers love their children and that they are well looked after, and as you say, it’s about being honest about the parts you struggle with so that others don’t feel that they’re going through it all alone. #StayClassyMama

Tubbs
Guest

It’s about balance. The best slummy mummy blogs manage to keep it real whilst letting their love of children shine though. There are others were the tone and content balance doesn’t seem quite right. Maybe too much slum and not enough mum. But that’s a judgement call and others may read the same blogs and completely disagree with me. And that’s okay!

The Squirmy Popple
Guest

Well said! Personally, I love those blogs you mentioned – I think they’re funny, talented writers who also put a lot of love and heart into what they do, if people take the time to actually read it. I consider myself ‘slummyish’ – I’m far from the perfectly Instagrammable mums out there, but I’m not a total disaster either. I suspect that’s the way it is for most of us. #stayclassymama

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