Why I don’t want to know about the Royal baby

Why I don’t want to know about the Royal baby

The title of this post makes me sound like the Grinch that stole the royal baby, so in advance of the preconceptions, I just want to make it clear that I am not trolling the news of the birth of a new princess.

Nor am I going to whinge on that it hasn’t or won’t be hard for Kate and Wills adjusting to their newborn just because they have squillions of pounds in the bank and belong to the richest family in the world. I actually think it’s lovely news, don’t doubt that she is a hands-on Mummy and think they both look great. Well done, Kate and ‘Princess Baby Squidgeface’, or whatever she will be called – to be announced.

No, the title of this post relates entirely to not wanting to be reminded about the gory details of the birth of Lady P and/or having to think about how gross the whole process actually is.

If you’ve read my post about having my baby, you’ll know that my labour was really straightforward and in comparison to what some women are put through, relatively ‘quick’.

But that still doesn’t mean I enjoyed any second of it (except when she arrived obvs)…

It hurt. It was messy. I had no control over how it was going to pan out, and hospitals are not nice places to ‘hang out’ (excuse the pun).

The whole process is down to luck and whilst I was absolutely besotted with my daughter from the second I found out I was pregnant, and incredibly lucky that she arrived safely, listening to ANY birth stories just plain grosses me out.

The point of this blog is that Catherine might be the future Queen of England, but she is still a human being, and what her body went through yesterday – albeit probably without the grumpy midwives of Barnet General – will be pretty much what any other Mummy experiences in order to produce their darling offspring.

And that just makes me want to cross my legs. And cry. A lot.

For me, being pregnant and giving birth is a means to an end in order to get a new baby, and although I would like to do it again to give Lady P a sibling to play Mario Cart with, I certainly don’t buy into the whole ‘magical experience’ that I’ve heard other (perhaps more “Mummsy”) Mummies talk about.

The worry, anxiety and PAIN of pregnancy and birth are so fragile and deeply intimate experiences that apparently you forget in time, so whilst I wish the Cambridges all the best with their new bubala, I’m going to make it my mission to ignore them as much as possible.

Mazel tov!

my royal baby

I’d rather suck Mummy’s laces than watch the Royal baby coverage too.

Share the Joy linky at bodfortea.co.uk

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18 Comments on "Why I don’t want to know about the Royal baby"

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This post made me smile – well, not the references to the gooey and gunky parts of labour, I’ve not experienced that and am quite happy here in oblivion, thank you very much. The birth of any baby is a joyous event and I hope they listen to your name suggestion, Princess Baby Squidgeface has a certain ring about it I think… Good luck avoiding the news about the latest (mostly non-)developments and thanks for linking up with #sharethejoy


It’s lucky we’re good at forgetting the intensity of the pain. If I lived in the memory of the first 6 weeks after birth, there’s no way I’d even consider having more! #sharethejoy

Sarah Howe

This made me smile as I posted my birth story today! Haha! I can see your point though. Pregnancy and birth is flipping hard and sometimes the reminders are nice, other times just a no no xx #maternitymondays

Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love)

I can completely understand you not wanting to be reminded of something that was an unpleasant experience for you and definitely might be worth avoiding various news items for the next couple of weeks. I quite like Princess Baby Squidgeface as a nickname for the new royal baby too!

Kate @ Family Fever

I did feel for her, having to stand ‘on trial’ in front of the waiting crowds when the poor girl probably just wanted to sit in a bath with a big cup of tea. Labour/birth and the postnatal days are the same for us all I am sure, and I hope she’s getting some rest and peace now!

Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks

Ah I was quite into the whole gunk and gore, but recently living through the same trauma myself I haven’t yet forgotten so I don’t need reminding 🙂 #maternitymondays

Toni @ Gym Bunny Mummy

I can’t imagine what it would be like to know the whole world is interested in you giving birth, it must be bloomin’ awful! #MaternityMonday


haha I don’t see it like that, I had 1 good birth and 1 terrible one but I still find it amazing and even the bad one hasn’t put me off. I love babies and I actually would love to go through my first birth again just to prove to myself that I did do it.
Maybe you’ll enjoy it more next time 🙂 #MaternityMondays

Mariet - Practicingnormal

I had so many problems with my pregnancies that I’m just glad that part of my life is over. I’m just glad the whole world wasn’t interested in how and if I was coping and what I looked liked.